WELCOME TO MY WORLD

The psychologist looked at me squarely from across the table.

"You know about the Autism Spectrum, right?"

My heart pounded and I nodded mutely.

"Well, your son definitely has PDD-NOS. I recommend many hours of ABA therapy, starting as soon as possible."

I was numb as the psychologist left. I stared mutely at my beautiful blond toddler, who was curled up in a corner, grunting and stimming, off in a world of his own.

Where have you disappeared to, my child? Where have your beautiful smile, your engaging eye contact, your babbling gone? Just 3 months ago you were counting from one to ten, bopping along to the abc's, making developmental strides beyond your age. And now you're somewhere far away, in a universe where I'm denied entry. Will I ever get your back? Will our lives be the same again?

As I sank into the couch, tears slowly rolling down my cheek, my unasked question was, "What now?"

I did not know the answer.

*****

It's been several years since the day my life turned upside down, and no, life will never be the same. There have been ups and downs, happy times and awful times. I have learned a lot on this journey so far. And I want to share some of it with you. Whether they are powerful lessons, funny moments, or just personal musings, they are all bottles up inside me and written down hastily on scrap paper. But most important of all, I want this blog to serve as a point of support to other parents of children with autism. Back then, I had nowhere to turn to for support. It was a massive struggle. At this point, I'm the one doling out the advice. And I would love to help you.

Along the way, I will also post about the things that have helped me, Products, resources, ideas. I am only just scratching the surface. There is so much to write about. I hope my ongoing story will at least be able to benefit others who are struggling with the same situation.

I don't know how you found this blog; whether through a web search, a link, or an invitation from me. If you know who I am, I ask you to keep my identity confidential, especially when posting a comment. I am purposely using pseudonyms for everyone involved, including the organizations I am afilliated with. Please do not blow anyone's identities.

Being an Orthodox Jewish woman, my posts will obviously reflect my lifestyle and religion. I'll gladly explain any terms that are not understood by some readers, and I ask that all comments are kept respectful and non-judgmental.

I look forward to this new, exciting venture and I hope you will too. Check back often, follow me, put me in your RSS reader - whatever you'd like. Leave feedback. Let's hope this is the start of something great!