When I finally sit down in front of the screen to write, I
feel a little lost. The sheer amount of things left to say is overwhelming. I
originally planned to keep this blog in chronological narrative form, but I
realized that it will take me months – nay, years! to catch up to the present. So
much happened every single day in the past 2+ years, that by the time I’m
done writing about all that, another year will have passed and I’ll have more
to catch up on!
Additionally, I think it’s a bit unfair to just keep harping
on the past – a past where I was bitter and resentful and depressed and thought
I would never reach the precious point of Acceptance – without talking a little
bit about the present and focusing a bit on the positive.
So I find myself in a conundrum. Working solely from a chronological perspective is important to the tone of this blog, but it’s also tedious, and at times emotionally wrenching, as I find myself harking back to a time when I thought the sun would never shine again. It’s shining alright. It’s coming in brightly through my dining room blinds and illuminating the kitchen and living room. But I don’t want to lose the thread of the narrative and jump right into the present and future. I want you to feel the struggle and revel in the triumph. I can’t make it sound like it was easy-peasy-lemon squeezy. It’s a dilemma!
The amount of material to cover in this blog is endless. The
initial struggle through his year of Early Intervention. The meltdowns and
tantrums and inability to communicate. The entrance of devoted volunteers in my
life, followed by vast array of services available once I got a Medicaid
Waiver. The endless amount of appointments, waiting, paperwork, networking,
researching and phone calls involved in every little resource out there. My
spiritual and emotional journey. I haven’t even touched on the remaining
four stages of grief and loss: Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I
have a plethora of incredible stories of Divine Assistance, where I could feel
a Heavenly Hand guiding me even when the going was extremely rough. Then there’s
Dovi’s first year at TABAC. Dovi's progress. Decisions about his schooling. More cute pictures and maybe even video clips. Our big move to a
new, amazing apartment. The impact of his condition on the family. Then there is the story about the lecture that changed my life and perspective. And more and more and on and on. I told you, it’s
endless.
That’s all aside from the bottomless list of resources and
products I want to review. I don’t even know where to begin! Safety harnesses.
Safety gates. Kitchen cabinet and fridge locks. Crib tents, Bed tents, and
other sleeping solutions. Strollers. High chairs. Tablet computers. Child
locators. Toilet training solutions. Yarmulke solutions. Sensory aids. Slipper
Socks. Pajamas to prevent unpleasant diaper incidents. Community Hab, Respite,
Overnight Camp, Home Health Aides, SSI, DVDs, Psychiatrists, Developmental
Pediatricians, Schools…. And of course, start begging for donations to fund his
six figure tuition next year. (HINT: scroll down, it's on the far right side of the page, near the long Amazon banner. Yes, this site almost seems sponsored by Amazon. But it's not.)
It will take time. Please be patient. And if there is any
particular item or topic you would like me to address earlier, please let me
know in the comments and I’ll try to accommodate.
Meantime, I’m heading out to the dentist to get dental work
done on a root canal I had done last week. Which reminds me, I haven’t even
touched upon the issue of finding a dentist for Dovi. You’re in for a treat. Or
not. But that’s yet a year in the future of our narrative. Next up, the horrors
of Home ABA. Too bad we’ve already passed Halloween; it doesn’t quite fit the
tone for a Thanksgiving story.
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Comment with your Facebook ID if you wish. Just remember to uncheck the box so the comment doesnt appear on your wall if you don't want to. Or, comment with the regular Blogger comment system.
LOVING THIS BLOG! Keep writing!! You amaze me daily!
ReplyDeletePlease keep writing! Your style is very easy to read.
ReplyDelete