The Vital Importance of Getting Support and Networking

I mentioned somewhere early on, how impossibly difficult it was to find one other autism mom to talk to. I simply did not know of one autism mom in my neighborhood. Not one.

When I asked my service coordinator to hook me up with someone - ANYONE - she had no one.

It didn't make sense. It just couldn't be that I was the first mother in my neighborhood to deal with a child with autism. After all, TABAC was in existence for a few years already. So where was everyone???

During my long years of struggling with infertility, support was plentiful and easily available. I joined  a support organization within a year or so of my marriage and the support was incredible. Throughout all my struggles there were dozens of listening ears available, shabbatons, support groups, events with speakers - you name it.

How in the world was there no organization for parents of chidren with autism?

There were so many organizations that offered services like Res Hab, Respite, Summer Camp, etc. Why didn't I see anything about connecting mothers with each other?

Divine Providence Chronicles: When The Problem Became the Solution

If you remember, during one of the blizzards 2 years ago I had an eye-opening life-changing moment in which Dovi stopped being my millstone, burden, and everything that was wrong with my life and became G-d's gift to my family. Well, not quite. I still continued complaining my kishkes out until my 2nd eye-opening, life-changing moment that occurred a year later in mid-January of 2011. (Boy, I can't wait to write that post. If you think the song was powerful, wait til you read this!) My life was still unbearably difficult and I was still going through severe emotional ups and downs. But one major thing had changed: I was slowly letting G-d back into my life. And I was noticing His presence; I was feeling His Guiding Hand and His celestial Hug in the most unexpected situations.

To that end I have to tell you an absolutely stunning incident that occurred right around then, a month or two after The Song That Changed Me.

Let me give you a mini crash course on how the Special Ed system works in New York. When a child ages out of Early Intervention the next step is to get evaluations and submit them to the Committee for Preschool Special Education, or CPSE. New York is divided into a bunch of different school districts, and each district has one or two district administrators who are the ones to decide whether the child in question is eligible for the services the parent is requesting.

The ongoing saga of the basement, center, etc.

Truthfully, I'm really sad today. A good friend of mine, who I know since my A T.I.M.E. days in the early 2000s, passed away suddenly this morning. We are all in shock; no one saw this coming, she wasn't particularly sick (aside from several long-term issues) and she apparently didn't wake up. She leaves behind a beautiful, long-awaited daughter, a devoted husband and hundreds of shattered, shocked friends. May Hashem comfort her family.

***

Nevertheless I do want to pick up the narrative of the Dovi story, being that tomorrow he'll probably be home (Jan 1st) and I have an appointment on Wednesday and before you know it, this blog will start stagnating. All the sensory solutions posts interrupted the flow of the blog and I want pick up the thread of the story where I last left off.

In the most recent entry where I tell Dovi's story,  Ellen his SEIT was reporting that he was crying a lot and was unhappy. In addition, Ellen herself was out for a large chunk of the day, coming back at 3 pm to work with him, which is not his optimal time to perform.  She also was urging me to look into placing him into an ABA Center, which is a better setup than working alone in a basement. It was a very confusing month for me.

Once Ellen was finally done with her medical situation and was back to working normally with Dovi, he settled down a bit - but not all the way. A new problem cropped up.

Mrs. White, the wonderful neighbor who was so graciously letting us use her basement every day for the ABA sessions, was getting very annoyed by the arrangement - because Dovi was crying. A LOT. Ellen was starting to feel her resentment and was extremely uncomfortable continuing the sessions there. Bessie didn't feel it as much as Ellen, but Ellen was getting adamant about not continuing to work in the basement.

What on earth was I supposed to do???

~DOVI FUND UPDATE~

I interrupt the trajectory of the Dovi narrative by bringing you this important bulletin.

Ladies and Ladies (I don't think any Gents read this), the Dovi fund, thanks to your amazing generosity is ~~~DRUMROLL PLEASE~~~ at $700!!!

That is pretty impressive, considering it's all made of kind donations from you, strangers and friends. I have gotten a few checks in the mail too, and some of the amounts made my jaw drop. You readers are just one of a kind.

Combined with my earnings from my Binah writings, the blog, unloading ebay junk, etc., we've probably just about passed the $3000 mark.

It's these donations - whether it's $10, $25, $50 or even more, that keep me going and give me impetus to keep the blog going too. $3000 is nothing to sneeze at - but we need to raise about 30 times that amount!!!

So keep the donations flowing, ladies. I have no words to thank you. I can't wait to start posting progress reports next winter when we will, with G-d's help and your kind support, start seeing big, big strides when he starts attending the $$$$$ incredible $$$$$ school.

(The donate button is at the bottom of this entry.)